Kinda Disappeared...

So, this is kind of a really delayed post. It's almost been a month since I posted anything to this bloody blog, and I suppose I can blame that on thoroughly enjoying my time here, especially now that Talon is here.

From  Bali, there is so much to tell. We went from one Island of Indonesia to another (Lombok), which turned out to be not quite as nice or interesting as Bali. But we still really enjoyed our time by partying in the Gili's, doing the snorkelling trips, getting EXTREMELY sunburnt, going surfing, and enjoying some beautiful mountainous scenery. We even managed to meet some pretty cool people along the way. It's amazing to see Talon enjoying all these new "first time" things for him. I love that I get to experience that.

But now, I'm way out of Asialand, and back into the 'real world'. Australia (aka Melbourne) is wickedly amazing. The building are all really old and interesting to see. There is even a comedy festival going on right now, and in Federation Square there is a sign that says "Montreal Comedy Festival - (whatever the distance is)", which is really cool to see.

Talon and I also got to meet up with our friend from school, Maddee. It's so wicked to be here with her. I missed her so much, and she makes the Aussie experience that much more awesome. We have explored the city, seen some amazing graffiti, drowned ourselves in Goon (a cheap wine of Australia all the backpackers seem to drink), which lead to meeting a couple of new friends, AND we are also going to be able to meet up with another friend from home (Jess!).

I think my favouite experience so far of Australia though, is going to an AFL game. We got to actually sit and watch an Australian footy game, which is really a mixture between American Football and Soccer. The players are intense, it's like the game never stops. And, of course, being Canadians Maddee, Talon and I got way int othe game.

"DID YOU SEE THAT TACKLE?! THATS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!"

It was quite amusing. The man in front of us, who happened to be the guy who told us all the rules of the game and how the scoring system worked, was very impressed with our ability to cheer when you should be, and how into the game we got. Our new friends on the other hand were not quite as excited. Suckers. :)

Anyways, the time is amazing. We love it. Im not ready to go homee. :(

NEVAHH!

Machine.

I guess I should have seen this coming a long way off. I should have expected nothing more of our relationship from the beginning.

I realized I've fucked it all up for myself. But you have just as much blame in the matter as I do. You ran away just as much as I did. You blocked me off, and iced over the same amount as me. Why should I feel like this is all my fault? I tried to understand you, to get into your head and understand what it was that you were feeling. I did my best to see where the hell you were coming from with the choices you had been making. But to you, I guess you never really saw that.

No, instead you continued to be the arrogant prick that you are, pretend that you hold me in a different light, but really think nothing more than me than any other common person in your life. Any other 'civilian', in your eyes. Makes me wonder how long you've actually thought that I am like that. How long you've actually just lied to me about what you saw; where you put me.

You act and talk like I don't give a shit about you. Yet I'm the one who is trying to see you. And even the times that you COULD see me, it was me who asked in the first place. So why did you never make that attempt? Did you even want to see me? Did it even cross your mind when you had free time that I might be available to see you? 

Probably not. You said that I started seeing other people and thats when you gave up on me. But.. I gave up on you when you told me you were engaged. So, I'm sorry that I didn't hold on and wait for you forever. Marriage to me means forever, I don't know what it means to you.

I thought I knew you. I thought we were closer. I thought you cared about me. I thought alot of things. I thought you actually trusted me, and thought of me as someone important in your life, someone you actually held in some regard of respect. But I was wrong in all those thoughts, I guess. 

Thats fine. If thats how you feel, and thats how you see me, I'm not going to waste my time any further. 

Fuck you.